I’m thrilled to be sharing a wonderful article written by the amazing Dr. Gayle Friend. A renowned clinical sexologist, educator coach and speaker, Dr. Gayle Friend provides her professional insight into how we get through difficult times and manage to make peace with our pasts.
Enjoy this excerpt of How To: Processing Painful Emotions and Making Peace With The Past:
Some painful emotions have been coming up for me lately AND I’m making peace with the past all over again. Sometimes I think I rock at this stuff and other times my processing just ain’t pretty.
Forgiving is part of processing painful emotions but what exactly are you forgiving?
I once heard a therapist say that forgiveness isn’t a one up and then it’s over, done, forgotten, never to surface again: Forgiveness is a process.
I loved this and it really resonated with me. Forgiving another or yourself is a choice to make (or not) whenever triggers or painful emotions surface. And often, the same things we think we’ve dealt with still surface and need our attention before we can once again move forward.
Painful experiences due to others or ourselves never really go away because they are part of the fabric of our lives. Those experiences played a part in shaping who we are based on the limiting thoughts we’ve come to believe about ourselves.
The pain we carry with us plagues us until we get to a place of making peace with the past, tap into who we are at our core (our most authentic) and release ourselves from carrying the heaviness of that pain into the future.
The memory of the event may never go away but the pain of the past doesn’t have to cripple us now or in the future.
Processing isn’t fun and there’s never a convenient time but this is how I process painful emotions when I’m triggered.
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